The word grifter has definitely been popping up more in recent years.
A grifter is essentially a con artist — someone who deceives or manipulates others for personal gain, usually involving money, status, or influence.
The term originally comes from older slang related to small-time swindlers and has roots in the word grafter, which referred to someone who profits in a dishonest way.
HERE’S A BREAKDOWN OF WHAT A GRIFTER TYPICALLY DOES:
Lies or exaggerates to gain trust
Takes advantage of people’s emotions, trust, or ignorance
Creates a false persona (like pretending to be an expert, a victim, or someone wealthy)
Has no long-term plan besides continuing to get money or attention dishonestly
You might hear it used in sentences like:
“That influencer turned out to be just another grifter.”
“They were running a fake charity — classic grifter move.”
In today’s world, a grifter could be a fake guru, a scammy online personality, a deceptive political figure, or anyone using smooth talk and manipulation to trick others out of money or loyalty.
THE WORD GRIFTER HAS A RICH AND GRITTY HISTORY ROOTED IN AMERICAN SLANG, ESPECIALLY TIED TO SWINDLERS, HUSTLERS, AND SMALL-TIME CON ARTISTS.
ORIGINS:
The term grifter likely comes from a variation of the older word grafter. In early American slang, a grafter was someone who made money through dishonest means — not through hard work, but through bribery, deceit, or manipulation.
The verb to graft, in this sense, meant to obtain money or advantage through illicit or unethical methods.
By the early 1900s, grifter emerged as its own word to describe people who were involved in petty cons, street scams, or traveling confidence tricks — often in the worlds of carnivals, gambling, or vaudeville circuits.
These were the types of people who:
Ran rigged games or betting schemes
Sold fake miracle cures or phony insurance
Built fake identities to gain sympathy, trust, or money
Cultural Influence:
The word became more widely known through literature and film. For example:
The Grifters (a 1963 novel by Jim Thompson and a 1990 movie adaptation) explores the lives of professional con artists.
Over time, the term started being used more broadly for people who deceive others for personal gain — whether it’s money, power, or influence.
Modern Usage:
Today, grifter is often used to describe:
Influencers or personalities who make false claims to sell products
Public figures who manipulate followers for financial or political gain
Scam artists running fake businesses or charities
Calling someone a grifter implies that they are manipulative, deceptive, and untrustworthy — someone who profits by taking advantage of others.
Knowing how to spot a grifter can protect you emotionally, financially, and even spiritually. Grifters can be incredibly convincing, but there are often red flags if you know what to look for.
TOP SIGNS OF A GRIFTER
Too Good to Be True Promises
They offer quick success, wealth, healing, or solutions that seem almost magical — often without any real effort required.
Emotional Manipulation
They use guilt, flattery, urgency, or fear to push you into action. If they make you feel pressured or emotionally off-balance, be cautious.
Inconsistent Backstories or Credentials
Their personal story changes over time, or their background seems suspiciously vague or embellished.
Always Playing the Victim or the Hero
Grifters often position themselves as either under attack (“everyone’s out to get me”) or as someone who’s here to save others (“only I can help you”).
No Proof, Just Hype
They avoid direct answers or details and rely on buzzwords, vague language, or “testimonials” instead of real evidence.
Unverifiable Success Stories
They talk about great success, followers, or money — but there’s no real proof, just claims.
Pushy About Money or Donations
They quickly steer conversations toward money, whether it’s investments, donations, or “exclusive access.”
Ties to Multi-Level Marketing (MLM), Scams, or Cultish Behavior
Many grifters operate inside shady business structures or foster cult-like followings to gain control over others.
Name-Dropping or False Authority
They may fake connections to celebrities, spiritual leaders, or institutions to seem more credible.
They React Poorly to Questions
If you ask tough questions and they get angry, defensive, or evasive — that’s a major warning sign.
TOP REASONS TO AVOID AND NOT ASSOCIATE WITH GRIFTERS
They Drain You
Emotionally, financially, mentally — they use people up. You’re seen as a resource, not a person.
They Erode Trust
Being around dishonest people can distort your sense of what’s real or good. It becomes hard to trust others or yourself.
They Hurt Your Reputation
Associating with a grifter can damage your credibility — people may begin to distrust you by association.
They Waste Your Time
They take your energy and time, often leading nowhere. Opportunities and relationships suffer because of them.
They Exploit Good Intentions
Grifters prey on empathy, spirituality, generosity, or dreams. They twist the good in others for personal gain.
They Leave Damage Behind
People often walk away with emotional scars, financial loss, broken relationships, or deep regret.
They Have No Loyalty
When you’re no longer useful, they’ll drop or betray you — fast. Their loyalty is only to themselves.
They Keep You in a Fog
Grifters thrive in confusion. Clear, honest communication and stable relationships are not their style.
Here’s a quick and practical checklist you can use to help identify grifter-like behavior in real life. You don’t need all the signs to be present — even a few strong ones can be enough to raise red flags.
GRIFTER BEHAVIOR CHECKLIST
Trust and Honesty
- Do they dodge direct questions or change the subject often?
- Do their stories or background feel inconsistent or too vague?
- Do they seem to have an excuse for everything, especially when something doesn’t add up?
Money and Manipulation
- Do they mention money quickly or frequently, especially with pressure?
- Are they trying to get you to donate, invest, or buy into something that’s hard to verify?
- Do they push urgency — “act now before it’s too late”?
Emotional and Psychological Signs
- Do they make you feel unusually guilty, flattered, or dependent on them?
- Do they try to isolate you from other perspectives or people who might challenge them?
- Are you constantly second-guessing yourself after talking with them?
Credibility and Proof
- Are their claims hard to verify (like secret deals, anonymous testimonials, or big-name “connections”)?
- Do they react poorly or defensively when you ask for proof or clarification?
- Do they name-drop or claim exclusive knowledge but refuse to back it up?
Pattern of Behavior
- Do they have a pattern of jumping from one scheme, group, or pitch to another?
- Are there past reports, reviews, or people warning others about them?
- Does it feel like they always have drama or someone “out to get them”?
If you find yourself checking off several of these, it’s wise to take a step back, gather outside opinions, and avoid committing time, trust, or money. A good rule: trust, but verify — and when in doubt, walk away without guilt.
WHAT TYPE OF PERSONALITY BECOMES A GRIFTER?
There’s no single mold, but grifters often share traits from specific personality types or disorders, particularly in the spectrum of manipulative or narcissistic behavior.
Here are some common patterns:
NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY
They crave admiration and attention
Believe they’re special or superior
Lack genuine empathy
Use charm or charisma to get what they want
SOCIOPATHIC OR ANTISOCIAL TENDENCIES
Habitual lying or deceit
No real remorse for hurting others
Highly manipulative and calculating
Often impulsive and thrill-seeking
INSECURE OR POWER-HUNGRY TYPES
Feelings of inadequacy masked by control-seeking behavior
Driven to “win” at any cost
See relationships in terms of leverage, not connection
OPPORTUNISTS WITH LOW SELF-DISCIPLINE
Don’t necessarily plan everything — they just take advantage of chances to lie, steal, or fake it
Will cut corners or deceive if they think they can get away with it
Some grifters are charming and smooth-talking. Others play the victim and act pitifully. Some are bold; others sneak around quietly. But the common thread is that they’re users, not builders.
DO GRIFTERS EVEN HAVE MORALS?
In short: Not in the way most people do.
They may know what right and wrong are intellectually, but they don’t feel bound by it.
Some grifters justify their behavior (“I deserve this,” “People are stupid,” “It’s just business”).
Others operate with a warped moral code — only loyal to themselves or those who benefit them.
Some may have started off with morals, but over time, became desensitized or corrupted by success, need, or ego.
What’s most concerning is that many grifters are good at pretending to have morals. They know how to talk the talk — even quoting scripture, spiritual wisdom, or ethical principles — to gain trust and blend in.
Bottom Line
Grifters usually lack true conscience, empathy, or accountability. They may appear intelligent or even spiritual, but their actions reveal their priorities — usually manipulation over truth, profit over people.
HERE’S WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER KEEP A GRIFTER IN YOUR CIRCLE — NOT EVEN LOOSELY.
They Will Eventually Use You
Grifters don’t see people as people — they see resources, stepping stones, or targets. Even if they’re nice at first, it’s just part of the act. If you’re useful, they’ll take. Once you’re not, they’ll leave — or worse, blame you.
They Bring Chaos and Drama
Grifters are often surrounded by lies, unfinished messes, fake opportunities, and conflict. If you associate with them, you inherit their mess — whether it’s legal, financial, social, or emotional.
Your Reputation Will Suffer
Even if you’re not like them, others will start to see you like them. Guilt by association is real. If a grifter burns someone and you’re seen as connected, it damages your credibility, trust, and sometimes opportunities.
They Desensitize You to What’s Right
The more time you spend with someone who constantly blurs moral lines, the more you may start to lower your own standards — sometimes without realizing it. That can slowly poison your integrity.
They Steal Time, Energy, and Focus
Even when they’re not actively scamming, grifters drain your life by creating confusion, wasting your time, or sucking you into their schemes, stories, or fake dreams. You could be building something real instead.
They Are Never Truly Loyal
A grifter’s loyalty is transactional. It’s not based on shared values or mutual care — it’s based on what they can get. And the second something changes, they’ll sell you out or ghost you with no remorse.
You Could Get Pulled Into Legal or Financial Trouble
If they’re doing shady things and you’re even remotely connected, you could find yourself questioned, blamed, or liable, even if you didn’t mean to be involved. That’s a risk not worth taking.
They Distract You from Real, Honest People
While you’re trying to help, fix, or keep up with a grifter, you could be missing opportunities to grow with people who are trustworthy, kind, and real.
A grifter doesn’t just steal money — they steal time, truth, trust, and direction. Letting one into your life is like building your house next to a sinkhole. Even if it looks fine for a while, it’ll eventually collapse.
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO WITH A KNOWN GRIFTER — ESPECIALLY ONCE IT’S CLEAR THEY OPERATE THROUGH LIES, MANIPULATION, OR SCHEMES — IS TO PROTECT YOURSELF FIRST, THEN CUT TIES WITH CLARITY AND STRENGTH. HERE’S A SMART, GROUNDED PLAN:
Quietly Distance Yourself
Don’t confront unless absolutely necessary. Most grifters are skilled manipulators — they’ll twist the narrative, play the victim, or try to guilt you.
Just start limiting contact. Be “busy.” Don’t feed their need for attention or engagement.
Don’t Try to Fix or Save Them
You’re not their rehab center. Grifters don’t change because of love, logic, or advice — they only change if they choose to face the truth, which most won’t.
Trying to help will only get you dragged deeper into their mess.
Guard Your Info and Reputation
Don’t share anything personal or financial. They’ll use it.
Be careful who they know through you. If they’ve been around your friends, coworkers, or family, quietly warn people who may be vulnerable to their charm.
Let Them Go Without Guilt
Even if you once liked or pitied them, letting them stay in your life is like giving a thief a spare key.
You’re not judging their soul — you’re protecting your peace.
Speak the Truth If Asked (But Don’t Gossip)
If others ask, be honest without drama. Something like:
“I’ve seen enough to know they can’t be trusted. I’d be cautious.”
Strengthen Your Boundaries
Grifters often circle back. They’ll reappear with new stories, apologies, or angles.
Decide in advance: “If they contact me again, I’m not responding.”
Or simply: “I’m no longer available for that.”
Move On and Stay Around Good People
The best way to heal from grifter exposure is to fill your circle with honest, grounded, high-integrity people.
Your peace and clarity will return fast once the drama is gone.
If a grifter has hurt or deceived you already, it’s not your fault. It means you have empathy — and that’s not a weakness. But from here on, your strength is in knowing better.
Here are a few deeper insights into grifters that round out the picture and may help you spot or understand them even more clearly:
Grifters Often Study Human Behavior Closely
Grifters are not always brilliant in the academic sense, but many are highly socially intelligent. They read people well — they know how to mirror emotions, copy values, and echo beliefs to gain your trust. In some ways, they are like emotional chameleons.
This makes them incredibly dangerous to the kind-hearted, the trusting, or the generous — not because those people are naive, but because grifters mimic connection so well. This is why many grifters don’t target strangers right away — they build trust slowly over time, learning their mark’s weaknesses, dreams, and values.
They Often Prey on Hope, Not Just Greed
A common myth is that only “greedy” people fall for grifters. That’s not always true. Grifters often prey on people’s hope — hope for healing, justice, success, love, redemption, or a better life.
Some even operate within causes or communities that seem wholesome or noble (faith, health, charity, activism, even personal growth). What they offer often sounds like exactly what someone needs — until it becomes clear it was all an act to manipulate emotion or extract money, power, or control.
They’re Masters of the “Almost Believable”
A key tactic grifters use is the “almost believable” story — something too complex to easily verify but not wild enough to seem fake.
They use just enough real details (like public knowledge, name-dropping, or partial truths) to give themselves a cloak of credibility.
They may even provide “proof” — like fake documents, doctored screenshots, or testimonials from others they’ve already deceived. This makes their web harder to untangle and gives them plausible deniability when confronted.
Grifters Rarely Act Alone for Long
Even if they start alone, many grifters end up forming loose circles of enablers, copycats, or people caught in their spell. Some knowingly help them — others are just manipulated pawns who help “spread the word” or defend the grifter out of loyalty.
That’s why exposing or warning others about a grifter can sometimes trigger blowback: their defenders may not yet realize they’re being used.
Knowing this doesn’t just make you smarter — it makes you safer. And it helps you help others, too. A calm, clear, honest voice can be a lifeline to someone who’s being pulled into a grifter’s world.
IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO GO DEEPER INTO UNDERSTANDING GRIFTERS, HERE ARE SOME CREDIBLE AND INSIGHTFUL SOURCES (NO HYPE, JUST CLARITY AND REAL-WORLD WISDOM):
🔹 Books
These books explain manipulation, deception, and predatory behavior — including grifters — from psychological and practical perspectives:
- “The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout
Explores how people without conscience operate and fool others — very relevant to grifters. - “The Confidence Game” by Maria Konnikova
A deep dive into how con artists work, the psychology behind their tactics, and why people fall for them. - “Talking to Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell
Helps explain why humans misread or misjudge others — including manipulative types. - “Spy the Lie” by Philip Houston, Michael Floyd, and Susan Carnicero
Written by former CIA officers — teaches how to detect deception and manipulation.
🔹 Documentaries & Series
If you prefer visual learning:
- “Dirty Money” (Netflix) – Exposes real-life grifters in business and finance.
- “The Tinder Swindler” (Netflix) – A look at a modern con artist who deceived multiple victims through charm and lies.
- “American Greed” (CNBC/Peacock) – Features cases of fraud, cons, and grifters of all kinds.
🔹 Articles & Websites
- Psychology Today – Search terms like manipulation, con artists, dark triad, or grifters.
psychologytoday.com - Verywell Mind – Offers understandable insights into narcissists, sociopaths, and manipulation tactics.
verywellmind.com - Scamwatch (Australia) or FTC Consumer Info (USA) – Real-world alerts and breakdowns of scams and con tactics.
consumer.ftc.gov
🔹 Reddit (if used wisely)
Subreddits like:
- r/Scams
- r/NarcissisticAbuse
- r/RaisedByNarcissists
These communities often share stories, red flags, and how people freed themselves from manipulative types — often grifter-like in behavior.