What Are Stress and Anxiety?
Stress is your body’s response to a demand or threat. It’s a natural reaction—think of it as your internal alarm system. When you’re stressed, your body releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline that prepare you to take action. This can be useful in short bursts (like during an exam or job interview), but when it lingers, it wears you down.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is more about the feeling of fear, worry, or unease. While stress is often tied to an external trigger (like a deadline), anxiety can persist even when there’s no obvious cause. It’s like your brain is stuck in a loop of “what ifs.”
TOP CAUSES OF STRESS AND ANXIETY
There’s no one-size-fits-all cause, but some common sources include:
Work and Career Pressures
Deadlines, job insecurity, long hours, difficult colleagues, or the pressure to succeed can all lead to chronic stress.
Money Worries
Financial strain—whether it’s debt, bills, or simply not earning enough—can be one of the heaviest emotional burdens.
Relationships
This could mean romantic issues, family conflict, or even social anxiety from interactions with friends or coworkers.
Health Problems
Chronic illness, pain, or even the fear of getting sick can trigger both stress and anxiety.
Major Life Changes
Moving, divorce, starting a new job, or losing a loved one are major upheavals that shake your sense of stability.
Overstimulation and Information Overload
We live in a noisy world—constant news, social media, emails, texts. Your brain doesn’t get a break.
Lack of Control or Uncertainty
Not knowing what’s coming next—whether it’s personal, political, or global—feeds anxiety.
HOW STRESS AND ANXIETY AFFECT YOU
They aren’t just mental—they take a toll on your body too. You might notice:
Headaches
Digestive issues
Sleep trouble
Muscle tension
Racing heart
Irritability or restlessness
Trouble concentrating
Over time, chronic stress and anxiety can weaken the immune system, increase the risk of heart problems, and contribute to depression.
HOW TO REDUCE OR MANAGE STRESS AND ANXIETY
Here’s the good news—there are plenty of practical, proven ways to reduce stress and anxiety. You don’t need to do all of these; even a few can make a meaningful difference.
Identify and Understand Your Triggers
Self-awareness is powerful. Keeping a journal or simply reflecting at the end of each day can help you see patterns—what sets you off, what calms you down.
Establish Healthy Routines
Structure provides a sense of control. Wake up and go to bed at the same time. Eat nourishing meals. Take breaks. Even 5-minute daily rituals can help you feel grounded.
Exercise Regularly
Physical movement—especially cardio—releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood boosters. It doesn’t have to be intense. A brisk walk, bike ride, or yoga session can do wonders.
Practice Mindfulness or Meditation
Slowing down your thoughts through deep breathing, meditation, or grounding techniques helps calm your nervous system. Apps like Calm or Headspace can guide you if you’re just starting out.
Cut Back on Stimulants
Too much caffeine, sugar, or alcohol can amplify anxiety and mess with your sleep. Reducing these, even slightly, can make a noticeable difference.
Set Boundaries
Don’t be afraid to say no. Overcommitting is a big stressor. Protect your time and energy by setting limits—whether it’s with work, friends, or family.
Talk About It
Bottling things up doesn’t make them go away. Talk to someone you trust—a friend, therapist, coach, or support group. Sometimes, just putting your feelings into words lightens the load.
Limit Screen Time
Especially before bed. Social media and endless news cycles keep your brain alert when it should be winding down. Try a “digital sunset”—turning off devices an hour before sleep.
Breathe
When you’re anxious, your breathing gets shallow. Try box breathing: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat. It’s simple and surprisingly calming.
Consider Professional Help
If stress and anxiety start to interfere with your ability to function—work, relationships, sleep—it’s time to talk to a mental health professional. Therapy (like CBT), medication, or a mix of both can be incredibly effective.
A QUICK GROUNDING PRACTICE YOU CAN TRY ANYTIME
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:
Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can touch.
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell.
Name 1 thing you can taste.
This pulls your attention away from your thoughts and into your present surroundings.
The Bigger Picture
Managing stress and anxiety isn’t about eliminating every difficult feeling—it’s about learning to respond rather than react. Life will always bring challenges, but with the right tools, you can meet them with more clarity, strength, and calm.
It can be frustrating to see someone constantly overwhelmed, anxious, or in chaos, especially when they’ve been offered help or suggestions that could make things better.
Let’s unpack why this happens, because there’s often more going on beneath the surface than it appears.
Stress and Anxiety Can Become Familiar and Addictive
For some people, stress becomes their normal. It might sound strange, but the body can get used to the chemical cocktail that stress releases—adrenaline, cortisol, etc. These people might feel restless or “off” when life gets calm, and unconsciously seek out stress to feel alive, productive, or important.
In some cases, it becomes a badge of honor—“I’m so busy,” “I never get a break.” This can create a cycle where calm feels uncomfortable, and stress feels like purpose.
Identity and Self-Worth Tied to Suffering
Some people grow up believing that life has to be hard or that suffering earns them love, approval, or meaning. If someone was raised in a chaotic home or was praised for being the “hard worker” or the “martyr,” they may associate stress with value. Letting go of that identity would feel like letting go of who they are.
They Might Not Really Believe Change Is Possible
When someone’s lived with anxiety or stress for years, they might think: This is just who I am. Or It won’t work for me. If they’ve tried a few things in the past that didn’t help right away, they might give up entirely. They may feel helpless even when they’re not.
This is especially true for people who haven’t had supportive or stable examples in their lives. They might not realize that peace is possible—or even what it feels like.
Avoidance of Deeper Issues
Sometimes the constant stress and busy-ness are a way to not face something deeper—like grief, guilt, fear, or trauma. Keeping the mind full of chaos is a distraction from unresolved pain. Stillness might force them to confront things they’re not ready to deal with.
Fear of Losing Control
Oddly, anxiety can feel like a form of control: “If I worry about everything, maybe I’ll prevent something bad.” Letting go of anxiety can feel like becoming vulnerable to the unknown—and for some, that’s terrifying. So they hold onto it tightly, even if it hurts them.
Comfort in Drama or Crisis
For some, especially if they grew up in dysfunctional environments, crisis and stress feel familiar—almost like home. Peace might feel boring or empty to them. So they unconsciously create or stay in situations that keep the adrenaline going.
WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT?
Here’s the tricky part—you can’t force someone to change. Even the best advice falls flat if someone isn’t ready or willing to hear it. But what can make a difference over time is:
Modeling peace and calm yourself. Sometimes just being around a grounded person can slowly shift someone else’s perspective.
Encouraging self-awareness, not by lecturing, but by asking thoughtful questions like “What do you need right now?” or “Do you think that pressure is helping or hurting you?”
Suggesting professional support, when appropriate, especially if their stress is hurting them or others.
Letting go when needed—some people will cling to stress until they decide they’re tired of it. And that’s their journey.
Some people need to hit a wall before they choose change. Others may never change. It’s not your job to rescue them, but it’s okay to care—and to recognize when someone is living in stress not because they have to, but because it’s all they know. In the end, the most powerful thing you can do is live your own life with clarity, peace, and purpose. That speaks louder than advice ever will.
SOME PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF STRESS OR ANXIETY START TO PULL OTHERS INTO THEIR EMOTIONAL STORM, OFTEN WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. IT CAN FEEL LIKE THEY’RE TRYING TO DRAG YOU INTO THEIR CHAOS, DRAMA, OR NEGATIVITY.
Here’s how to recognize it, respond to it, and protect your own peace without being unkind or cold.
Why It Feels Like They Want You to Feel What They Feel
There’s a human truth at play here: people in distress often want others to validate or join them emotionally. Not out of malice, but because it makes them feel less alone. This is where the “misery loves company” saying comes from.
You’ll notice it in:
People who constantly vent but never take steps to change anything.
Those who criticize or resent your peace or boundaries.
Friends or family who react negatively when you’re calm or joyful—because it reminds them of their own unrest.
How to Stay Grounded When Dealing With Them
Here’s what you can do—and why it works:
Don’t Absorb Their Energy
This is the most important part. People like this often leak emotion—they’re not necessarily talking directly to you, but their tone, urgency, and negativity can make you feel like you’re under pressure.
What to do:
Practice emotional detachment. Remind yourself: This is theirs, not mine.
Take a deep breath and ground yourself. You can even quietly repeat, I don’t have to take this on.
Set Clear and Kind Boundaries
You don’t have to be harsh—but you do have to be firm.
Example phrases:
“I care about you, but I can’t carry this with you right now.”
“I’ve noticed we talk a lot about what’s wrong. Can we shift the energy a little?”
“That sounds really hard. What are you going to do about it?”
That last one gently puts the responsibility back in their hands.
Limit Exposure if Needed
If someone’s stress is chronic and contagious, you may need to limit time spent around them—especially if they resist changing. You don’t need to explain yourself in detail.
You might say:
“I’ve got to protect my energy right now. I hope you understand.”
Or simply give yourself more space, less frequent interactions, and focus on people who uplift you.
Don’t Try to “Fix” Them
This one is hard if you care. But over-helping or trying to save someone from their stress can become a trap—for both of you. Some people are more comfortable talking about problems than solving them.
Instead, be supportive without over-involving yourself. You can say:
“That sounds like something you might want to talk to a professional about.”
Or even, “What do you think a good next step is?”
Let them take ownership of their own life.
Protect Your Peace as a Priority
Your calm is your strength. If someone’s presence always leaves you feeling drained, anxious, or guilty, that’s a signal.
Simple self-reminders:
I am not responsible for managing other people’s emotions.
I can be kind without being pulled under.
Their storm is not my storm.
You’re Not Being Cold—You’re Being Healthy
It’s not unkind to want peace. It’s not selfish to protect your mental space. In fact, people like you—who don’t let stress rule them—are often the ones who quietly inspire others to change.
And if the person ever is ready to grow or shift, you’ll be a powerful example of what that can look like.
HERE’S A SIMPLE, PRACTICAL PERSONAL STRATEGY AND MENTAL SCRIPT YOU CAN CARRY WITH YOU FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE CONSTANTLY STRESSED, ANXIOUS, OR NEGATIVE—ESPECIALLY IF THEY TRY TO PULL YOU INTO IT.
This strategy is built around three core pillars:
Ground Yourself Before the Interaction
Before you enter a conversation with someone you know tends to dump stress or negativity, quickly do one or more of the following:
Take a deep breath and remind yourself:
“This is their energy, not mine.”
Visualize a boundary, like a glass wall between you and them. You can hear and see them—but their emotions can’t get through unless you let them.
Set a quiet intention:
“I will stay calm.” I will not carry what isn’t mine.”
Use a Go-To Mental Script During the Interaction
When things start getting heavy, here’s a simple flow of responses you can rely on:
If they start venting constantly or spiraling:
“That sounds like a lot.”
(Acknowledges their feelings without taking them on.)
“Is there something you’re hoping I can help with, or do you just need to let it out?”
(Sets a boundary—you’re not just an emotional sponge.)
If they keep repeating the same issues without taking action:
“I hear you, and I want things to get better for you—but I notice we keep coming back to this. What do you think would help most right now?”
(Gently nudges them toward responsibility.)
If they lash out or try to guilt you:
“I understand you’re going through something difficult, but I’m not in a place to take this on today.”
(Clear, firm, not rude.)
If they’re draining and you just need to end the conversation:
“Let’s pick this up another time—I need to take care of a few things right now.”
(No need to over-explain. Short and kind works.)
Recover and Reset Afterward
Sometimes, even with boundaries, being around intense energy still leaves a residue. Here’s how to shake it off:
Step outside for fresh air or take a short walk.
Do a physical reset—stretch, shake out your hands, splash cold water on your face.
Remind yourself:
“That was their energy.” I let it go. I stayed grounded.”
Switch your focus to something calming or joyful—even music, reading, or calling someone uplifting.
Bonus: A Quick “Exit Line” You Can Memorize
If you’re ever caught off guard, use this:
“I really want to be supportive, but I need to protect my own peace right now. Let’s talk later when things feel calmer.”
It’s simple, respectful, and powerful.
Navigating relationships with people who live in a constant state of stress or anxiety can be emotionally draining—especially when it starts to affect your own sense of peace. As we’ve explored, some individuals may unconsciously cling to chaos because it feels familiar, safe, or even necessary for their identity.
While it’s natural to want to help or support them, it’s equally important to recognize when their patterns begin to weigh you down.
The truth is, protecting your energy doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you wise. You can be a compassionate listener without becoming their emotional dumping ground. You can care without getting consumed.
And you can still be a positive influence in their life just by modeling calm, boundaries, and emotional responsibility. When you choose peace over panic, clarity over chaos, and calm over drama, you not only take care of yourself—you offer an alternative way of living for others to see and possibly emulate.
Not everyone is ready to change, and that’s okay. Your role is not to fix or carry someone else’s emotional burden, especially when it’s being placed on you repeatedly.
With the right mindset, firm but kind boundaries, and some trusted scripts in your back pocket, you can protect your well-being without guilt. The freedom that comes from that kind of emotional clarity is powerful—and it’s yours to claim.
If you continue walking through life with intention and calm, you’ll find that you don’t need to argue or convince anyone to follow your lead. The example you set, just by being grounded and refusing to be pulled into unending stress, speaks louder than words ever could.
YOU CAN FIND A LOT OF VALUABLE, TRUSTWORTHY INFORMATION ON STRESS, ANXIETY, BOUNDARIES, AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING THROUGH BOOKS, WEBSITES, AND EVEN PODCASTS. HERE’S A BREAKDOWN OF SOLID PLACES TO START:
1. Trusted Mental Health Websites
These are reliable, science-backed resources:
- The American Psychological Association (APA)
Articles, research, and tips on stress, anxiety, and emotional wellness. - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Deep dives into the science of anxiety and stress disorders, including treatment options. - HelpGuide.org
Practical, user-friendly articles on stress, anxiety, relationships, and mental health. - Mental Health America (MHA)
Self-assessments, resources, and articles on everyday stress and how to manage it.
2. Books You Might Like
These go deeper into both managing your own stress and dealing with others’ emotional overload:
- “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer
A spiritual, yet practical look at inner peace and not letting outside forces control your emotions. - “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Excellent for learning how to say no without guilt, and how to deal with draining people. - “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Especially helpful for understanding how stress builds up and how to release it physically and mentally. - “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown
Not specifically about stress, but great on vulnerability, emotional resilience, and dealing with people who live in fear-based mindsets.
3. Podcasts
If you prefer listening:
- The Calm Collective – Talks about inner peace, stillness, and boundaries.
- Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris – Mindfulness, mental clarity, and how to deal with life’s stressors.
- Therapy Chat – Licensed therapists sharing insights on anxiety, emotional health, and relationships.
4. YouTube Channels
- Therapy in a Nutshell (by therapist Emma McAdam) – Excellent bite-sized explanations about managing anxiety, setting boundaries, and emotional intelligence.
- The Mindful Movement – Guided meditations and stress relief practices.